Say You Won't Let Go....

James Arthur - Say You Won't Let Go

I met you in Idyllshire, you kept me up

You made me feel as though I was enough

We chatted the night away, we fell too hard

I held my breath back when

You first said my name

Then you opened up about your past

For a minute, I was truly shell shocked

I never expected any of this to happen

And you said you used up all your luck

I said, I already told ya

I think I am the lucky one

I knew I loved you then

But you'd never know

Cause I was so scared, I felt my heart breaking free

I knew I needed you

But I never showed

But I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old

Just say you won't let go

Just say you won't let go

I'll make you believe in love again

I'll show you what loyalty truly means

And I'll prove to you that 

We are worth the wait

And I'll thank my lucky stars for that night

When you asked me to be your girlfriend

For a minute, I forgot the distance between us

I wanna be with you right now

Oh, and you are as perfect as ever

And I swear that I'll love you for who you are

You make me feel this way somehow

I'm so in love with you 

And I hope you know

Darling your love is more than worth its weight in gold

We've come so far my dear

Look how we've grown

And I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old

Just say you won't let go

Just say you won't let go

I wanna live with you 

Even when we're ghosts

Cause you were always there for me when I needed you most

I'm gonna love you till

My lungs give out

I promise till death we part like in my dreams

So I wrote these verses for you, now everybody knows

Cause now it's just you and me till we're grey and old

Just say you won't let go

Just say you won't let go

Just say you won't let go

Oh, just say you won't let go

~ 10.12.16 ~

未知數 The Unknown

起初的炙熱瘋狂是否能燃燒到未來

Will the initial crazy passion burn till the end

愛能否跨越 時間 距離

Can love overcome time, distance

相逢時的幸福美滿是否能延續到老

Will the happiness of when we meet last till we are old

這一切發生的好突然

All this happened so suddenly

我不知道你說出愛我時帶著什麼心情

I don't know what you felt when you said "I love you"

該如何定義以及計算愛

How to define and calculate love

理智告訴我該害怕

Logic tells me to be scared

理智告訴我該放棄

Logic tells me to give up

理智告訴我該自我保護

Logic tells me to protect myself

理智告訴我別癡心妄想

Logic tells me to stop the wishful thinking 

你不知道我的脆弱

You don't know my weakness

你不知道我的黑暗

You don't know my darkness

我掩飾著我的懦弱

I hide my faint heart

我掩飾著我的不安

I hide my insecurities

是痴 是狂 在愛面前我再次淪陷

Its senselessness, its craziness, I fall down before love again

我願意相信

I am willing to believe

我願意付出

I am willing to give

我願意等

I am willing to wait

我願意傻

I am willing to be a fool

美好的未來幻想能否實現

Will the wonderful dreams of the future ever come true

只有時間能回答這個問題

Only time can answer this question

我帶著我的玻璃心與勇氣等著與你相逢的那日

With my fragile heart and courage, I await the day we meet

現在的我壓抑著負面思想只想繼續做這場夢

Right now I suppress the negativity and just want to continue living this dream 

努力說服自己我會有幸福的一天

Convincing myself I will have my happily ever after

你我一起踏上了我從來不會想像我會選擇的路

We embark on this journey I never thought I would choose

我選擇信任以及接受你的一切

I choose to believe and accept you as you are

你是否也接納完整的我以及充滿未知數的未來

Are you willing and able to accept me and our unknown future

我們能席手共度此生嗎？

Will we grow old together?

~ 10.11.16 ~

It's the little things that matter

Had a great day yesterday despite having to work over time on Saturday (can't complain about the extra $$).
Catching up with a good friend and seeing how much happier and content he is, the change in his attitude and outlook on life, I am happy for him.
Though his "plan" for me didn't quite work - it took the founding father of Taiwan 11 attempts before he succeeded; we will see... haha

I hope to give him some good new both career and ... other aspect wise soon~ 

The highlight of the day goes to spending time with someone that doesn't cease to bring a smile to my face.
Stealing looks at one another in the movie theater and little comments and jokes throughout the movie, you made a film that I normally wouldn't watch fun, laughter-filled and memorable. .

His little gestures throughout the evening really showed the gentleman that he is.
- Going out of his way to go to the theater that is more convenient for me
- Turning up early to pick me up
- Warning me to be careful of the big step/gap when getting out of the car (with me being someone that trips over thin air, there was high possibility I would kiss the concrete lol)
- Fighting to pay for everything
- Being considerate and checking if I was hungry or thirsty
- Letting me have the better seat and closer to the center of the screen
- Apologising and offering to run back alone to pay for parking because it was cold outside
- Being the one to carry things and pouring tea
- Smelling nice ^///^ yes! Smell does matter and I definitely appreciate guys who put in the effort to pick a nice scent and smell nice <3

There were many moments when my heart raced.
The hope I have suppressed for so long is starting to break free.
I start to want more again, I am scared but more excited about the prospect.
I want to trust... I want to feel... I think I am ready now...

I don't need extravagance.
I don't need roses, champagne and lavish gifts.
I appreciate the little things.
The little gestures showing you care penetrates my defenses.
I want to be with someone that cares and gives a damn.

I hope this is the start of something good.

~ 16.10.16 ~

成長 Growth

一年前的我寫了這篇文章:
至：愛過的人

光良 - 那些愛過的事:
"只是我愛過你的事，卻像跟著我的影子
遺憾的是你看不到，我還在愛著你的樣子"


曾經屬於我們共同的物品隨著時間逐漸損壞，如同變了質的牛奶，味道變了只能廢棄…
看著這些物品想起曾經的點點滴滴我還是止不住淚水…
想起那些甜言蜜語，真是天真又傻。
山無崚，天地合，乃敢與君絕…好美…卻不切實際…

你讓我嚐到了被愛與寵溺的甜蜜，同時也體會了愛帶來的痛與煎熬…
我嘗試跨越心裡的恐懼去接納他人卻一再地碰壁，熱臉貼冷屁股，真心換絕情…
愛 好累 好傷

多希望曾經的諾言能實現，我們現在過的是曾經計畫著的生活…
不知現在的你過的如何，我只能遠遠的祝福你，希望你能過你要的平淡、簡單的幸福日子。

我累了，找不到人生的方向，不知道該如何走下去，追求什麼…

曾經你是我的未來，我的指南針。
現在我必須靠自己的力量去尋找人生迷宮的出口。
若碰了壁就往回走找新的路，總有一天會找到出口。
就算出不去至少我也努力過，而不是在原地不動的等不會出現的"白馬王子"。
我會好好地誠實面對自己，不再幻想祈求什麼。
做自己堅強的走下去。

~ 10.06.15 ~

http://mynostalgicmelodies.blogspot.co.nz/2015/06/blog-post.html


A year ago I wrote the above post:

For: The one I loved,

Michael Wong - All that I loved: 

"The memories of when I used to love you is like the shadows following me.

The most regrettable is you not seeing how I still love you."

What used to belong to us slowly over time break and wear out, just like spoiled milk, the taste has changed and can only be thrown out...

Looking at these objects, I reminiscence our past together and cannot stop the tears from flowing...

Remembering those sweet promises, so naive and silly.

When the mountains have flattened, the sky and earth become one, then I dare separate from you/// so beautiful... but unrealistic...

You allowed me to taste love and sweetness of being spoiled, but also experience the pain and heartache love brings...

I tried to overcome my internal fear of accepting someone else but constantly stumble over the hurdle, being over eager and shut down, giving my heart and having it broken again and again...

Love. So tiring. So painful.

I wish the original promises were kept and we are living the lives we had planned...

Don't know how you are doing now, I can only wish you well from afar, hope you are living the peaceful and simple happy life you wanted.

I'm tired, I can't find my life's direction, I don't know how to continue on, chase what...

You used to be my future, my compass.

Now I must rely on my own strength to find the exist to the maze of life.

If I hit a dead end I will turn around and find a new path, I will find the exist one day.

Even if I cannot escape at least I tried, instead of standing still and waiting for the "prince charming" that will never appear.

I will truly face reality and myself, no longer fantasize anything. 

Be myself and find the strength to continue on.

---------

Reading the above post I could not help but be proud of how mentally strong I have become.

I remember the pain I felt, how can I forget something so excruciatingly painful?

But I have overcome it.

I do not regret anything, it was all lessons learnt.

I am more realistic and independent compared to who I was.

I do not know what will happen but know I will not lose myself again.

I am starting to love myself.

I accept my "imperfections" and let go of expectations.

I do things at my own pace and answer to no one but myself.

I know who and what matter to me the most.

I am learning to realise and see people for who they are and what they have done to me.

It is NOT okay to be used.

I won't put up with the way I have been treated.

I will fight my own battles and earn the respect I deserve.

Some people simply do not know how to respect people and it is their loss.

Growth ^o^v

~ 17.9.16 ~

Missed - Ella Henderson

Missed by Ella Henderson

You think you’re missed, well let me tell you this

The love I felt for you has flown away

And now you see what you’ve done to me

So all I can ask is why, why, why

You made us feel like one

I should have known that you were wrong

Oh yeah, you did it on your own, now you gotta go

Oh no, I won’t let you get me down

You tried to hurt my feelings

You stopped me dreaming

But here I draw the line

I wish you luck in life and goodbye

You let me think that you were so, so true

Looks like truth can lie

You want me to go from a high straight down to a low

With all the excuses here, the reasons there, they’re everywhere

Chasing rainbows can be fun

Been chasing you for so long

Oh yeah, you did it on your own, now you gotta go

Oh no, I won’t let you get me down

You tried to hurt my feelings

You stopped me dreaming

But here I draw the line

I wish you luck in life and goodbye

~ 11.9.16 ~

I Can't Make You Love Me

I Can't Make You Love Me

Original by Bonnie Raitt 

Turn down the lights

Turn down the bed

Turn down these voices inside my head

Lay down with me

Tell me no lies

Just hold me close, don't patronize

Don't patronize me

'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't

You can't make your heart feel something it won't

Here in the dark, in these final hours

I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power

But you won't, no you won't

'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't

I'll close my eyes, then I won't see

The love you don't feel when you're holding me

Morning will come and I'll do what's right

Just give me till then to give up this fight

And I will give up this fight

'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't

You can't make your heart feel something it won't

Here in the dark, in these final hours

I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power

But you won't, no you won't

'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't

-----------------

Cover by Kurt Hugo Schneider & Alex G

Last but not least, James Arthur's short cover

I really loved James Arthur from the get go with his first audition cover of Tulisa's "Young". 

Never looked Tulisa up until I heard James' cover. 

He breathes a different rawness of pain and emotion along with his very sexy accent haha

A  lot of people resonate with the lyrics and emotions conveyed. 

Another contestant that blew me away from X Factor UK is Ella Henderson with her cover of "Believe" by Cher <3

"Well I know I will get through this. 

Well I know I am strong. 

I don't need you anymore...

Do you believe in life after love?"

I believe.

~ 11.9.16 ~

Let Me Go

Let Me Go 

Love that once hung on the wall

Used to mean something, but now it means nothing

The echoes are gone in the hall

But I still remember, the pain of December

Oh, there isn't one thing left you could say

I'm sorry it's too late

I'm breaking free from these memories

Gotta let it go, just let it go

I've said goodbye

Set it all on fire

Gotta let it go, just let it go

You came back to find I was gone

And that place is empty,

Like the hole that was left in me

Like we were nothing at all

It's not what you meant to me

Thought we were meant to be

Oh, there isn't one thing left you could say

I'm sorry it's too late

I'm breaking free from these memories

Gotta let it go, just let it go

I've said goodbye

Set it all on fire

Gotta let it go, just let it go

I let it go and now I know

A brand new life is down this road

And when it's right, you always know

So this time I won't let go

There's only one thing left here to say

Love's never too late

I've broken free from those memories

I've let it go, I've let it go

And two goodbyes led to this new life

Don't let me go, don't let me go

Don't let me go, don't let me go, don't let me go, don't let me go

Won't let you go, don't let me go

----------------------

Changing to a new phone and giving my old phone to a person who would put it to good use.

Before I hand the phone to it's new owner, I was confronted by the task of removing traces my past off the phone.
Browsing through the photos of our life together I see the genuine smile, loving gaze and chemistry behind the lens.
Our Love was real.

While browsing, I unintentionally stumble across something that I should have expected but the news managed to take me by surprise and knock me out in one single hit.

No I have not completely let go.

These tears, this pain, the bitter taste in my mouth...

The flashback begins.
 As reality sets in the pain spreads throughout my body.

I thought I would be okay, but who am I kidding?

You overestimated my ability to move on.

You found your family and left me shattered and broken.

I am broken and cannot be mended.

It is as if while I was absentmindedly wondering down memory lane, a 12 tonne truck speed past at 100kmph and knocked me high up into the air.

Screech.

Bang.

Crack.

Silence.

You left me lying in the middle of the road bleeding while you ran off and continued on your journey.
I am the almost roadkill.
I survived, revived by medics and drugs called friends.
You continue on with your life and new family as if nothing had happened.

Even after we had ended, I never blamed you and made excuses to justify your actions while I was falling apart inside.

So many regrets, so much more I wish we could have done, so much I wish I had said to you.

I blamed myself and everything attached to me.
This pain reminds me of the cost of love.

I really love(d) you.
I was blind.

Reading that letter I wrote to you years ago brought tears to my eyes.

You may have torn the letter up and forgotten, but I still remember.

Maybe I will keep that promise I made...

You were my one and only.

You were the one I wished to spend the rest of my life with.

You were the only one I wish to marry and start a family with.

You were the one I gave my complete unconditional love and trust to.

I do not want you back nor do I wish to disturb your family.

Actions speak louder than words.

You action spoke on that fateful night 2 years ago at the petrol station when I came across that message.

What ever comes of me will be of little concern to you now.

You made your decision when you cheated emotionally.

As I hit the "reset" button on the phone, gone are the chat history, the traces of what we once were, the carrier of our past...

What remains is the memories, emotions and lessons I learnt.

You taught me the hardest lesson in life that I have yet to master.

Letting go...

~ 23.8.16 ~