Something

Sometimes when you get so involved with something and you give it your all, you just suddenly become so exhausted.

In the moment you just forget everything else around you, but as soon as you let go and allow yourself to feel, you become overwhelmed.

A friend experienced that in game, and maybe because I play the same role, I understand his frustration and stress.

I hope he bounces back from this phase and the others start really appreciating everything he does.

Deep down he is a genuinely nice guy and a core part of the group.

Maybe it was the mood I was in today as well, I felt like I really needed his time, attention and affection but I never got it.

I hinted, no, blatantly told him I've had a rough day and to be honest the only reason I stayed up was for him.

Waiting... 

Second priority...

Taken for granted...

The negativity rubbing off on me.

He didn't realise I was physically in pain and went to see someone about it on my break...

He didn't know I'm currently really stressed and exhausted at work...

He didn't know I was balling my eyes out earlier just at sad videos but also more because i needed to let it out...

He doesn't know because I didn't know how to bring it up and didn't want to face the disappointment of his answers.
He doesn't know because he doesn't ask...

Who knew disappointment could physically hurt.

When you're feeling stressed, there's nothing your partner can do about the situation.

What you really need is for him to be there for you.

Just listening and being empathetic, show you they care, or even just talk about something else as distraction.

Your company to make me feel less alone...

For him, he's not used to the emotional side of relationships - that's the excuse I use to cover up every time...

Doesn't really make me feel that much better sadly...

I try so hard to stay bubbly and positive in front of others, starting to feel like I need to be that way with him too...

I'm so exhausted...

I need... 

Something.

~ 20.02.17 ~