順其自然 Just go with the flow

Despite not wanting to face and give in to the emotions, while speaking to my best friend I still got teary eyed and allowed myself to temporarily feel the pain.
Our usual late night sitting in the car catch up sessions always lead to open and honest conversations about how we really feel and giving each other encouragements to not give in to the "shits" life throws at us, and see the light at the end of the tunnel.

To believe and remind ourselves of what we deserve.
To feel validated and have someone appreciate everything you have given up for someone.
To have someone understand and relate to the emotions you feel.
To have someone who accepts you unconditionally.
I am so fortunate to have her in my life.

Despite the temporary pain, we both take it as a lesson learned.
Trying to stay positive and afloat while the negativity is dragging us under.

Seeing what is happening on the other side of the world I am reminded of how fortunate I am.
Put into perspective of how little my problems really are.
Life is short, don't waste it on people who don't value you.
Being taken for granted is not okay.
I have accepted and moved on from losing that one future I craved for.
There are many more opportunities out there that await me.

I am trying...
Trying to not think or feel.
Trying to just live and forget.
Trying to just put a smiling mask on to convince everyone else I am okay
Trying to pretend I'm okay.
Trying...

--14.11-15--